Lists
by somebrokenhearts
Summary: AU Pranks and lists and summer's magic. "You're buying me ice cream, Uchiha Sasuke!"
1. why i hate swimming pools

_DISCLAIMER EXTRAORDINAIRE: _HI. I DON'T OWN NARUTO. SO PLEASE, NO SCARY INSULTS PURDY PLEASE.

_LISTS_

**Chapter 1: **why i hate swimming pools

There are **fiftee****n** reasons why I hate going to the pool:

**1. **There is always a hoard of rugrats in the shallow end yelling and screaming and just generally germ-ing up the water on the shallow end. So basically if you want to swim then have fun swimming in snot and saliva.

**2. **There are those stupid guys who think they're all hot and bothered so they flirt ever so noticeably with the lifeguards.

**3. **All the lifeguards are female, foreign exchange students which

**4. **Takes away from my wanting of hot, male lifeguard eye-candy.

**5. **All these stupid lifeguards try really hard to make friends with you because you are feminine and in their age demographic. Even if all you want to do is sit there and read a very interesting book.

**6. **The very interesting book that you were enjoying quite thoroughly has suddenly been thrown, along with yourself, into the pool by your very obnoxious, and muscular, neighbor.

**7. **Neighbor then laughs at you along with the stupid foreign exchange female lifeguards because neighbor is extremely sexy.

**8. **You then have to chuck the extremely soggy, and ruined, novel at sexy neighbor's face and manage to hit one of those hot and bothered ugly, flirty guys.

**9. **HBUFG (Hot Bothered Ugly Flirting Guys) immediately think that you're hitting on them, literally, and start jumping in the pool with you.

**10. **Neighbor finally gets to his senses and pulls you out before one of the HBUFG can feel you up. He is after all, very protective of you.

**11. **You start screaming at Neighbor and include several bad expletives in the mix, and after he only smirks at you, resort to bitch-slapping.

**12. **Parents of the snotting rugrats decide to have you and Neighbor kicked out of pool for the rest of the summer because you are, according to them, corrupting the innocent minds of the snot-faced rugrats.

**13. **Neighbor pulls you out the vicinity before you are able to murder everyone on the premises.

**14. **You knee Neighbor in groin for ruining the book you were reading and

**15. **Losing your only recreational area for the rest of the summer.

--

--

"You are really a bastard you know that?" I was mad. I was beyond mad. There isn't even a word to describe how mad I was.

The stupid guy just looked up at the sky with a stupid smirk on his face.

"You are SO going to buy me a new book you hear?!"

Still no answer. Then I realized he was looking at, dare I say it, my body. This stupid piece of sexy lard was staring at my still wet form.

I snarled at him,

"Do not subject me to any of your misogynistic ways mister," I scowled at him as I prodded his chest with my finger, "I am not a piece of fruit. And unless you want to turn out like one of those idiots over there," I pointed to the HBUFG's, "I would suggest going out and buying me another copy of this book!"

He was still staring.

I crossed my arms over my chest and screamed at him,

"YOU GODDAMN IDIOT! GO GET ME A TOWEL BECAUSE I'M COLD AND YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE!"

Right as I uttered those words, a little boy, one of those stupid rugrats probably, came up behind me and said,

"Why is your hair the same color as when my sister accidentally got bubble gum stuck in her hair?"

Because, little boy, when two people really love each other, but then one of them eats way too many strawberries…

I was cut off by a towel dropping onto my head and a soft chuckle ringing in my ears, but when I finally mustered the energy to pull the towel off my head, the filthy bastard was no where to be found. Then the HBUFG's decided to take the absence of my supposed guardian to their advantage and they started advancing towards me. One of these guys was especially forward, to say the least.

"OH SWEET SAKURA, MY LOVE FOR BURNS MORE BRIGHTLY THAN THE SUN REFLECTING OFF OF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S ALBINO SKIN! PLEASE, GO ON A DATE TO THE SPLENDIFOROUS…alJFIEsjaflkdjfa"

His rant was cut short by the Neighbor kindly punching him in the stomach. I chuckled, albino skin OUCH. The very forward HBUFG sputtered a bit, but continued on with his rant.

"OUR LOVE WILL FACE MANY TRIALS MY DARLING BLOSSOM, BUT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS PREVAILS!"

Now I was mad. Not only was this guy completely psycho, but he just named me after a powerpuff girl. I felt my face turning red.

"BLOSSOM?! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?! I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW!! AND SPLENDIFOROUS IS NOT A FRIKIN WORD!"

The HBUFG stepped backward a couple of meters,

"Oh yes...my Sakura, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the GREAT GREEN BEAST…LEE!"

No way. I looked towards the Neighbor and he was also trying very unsuccessfully to hold back a smile. The Neighbor never smiled. I was really scared now. So I did the only rational thing I could do, I hopped into my car and drove away. **Really fast.**

"Hello Sakura."

"AHHH!!" I slammed on the brake so hard that I nearly activated my airbag.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR?!"

"I wanted to get away from the GREAT GREEN BEAST, and apparently my albino skin is too glittery in the sunlight."

I laughed. But then I remembered who had started all the trouble in the first place. I turned back towards my passenger, and put on a chesire cat grin.

"Sakura…."

"Yes," I purred.

"You're scaring me," he muttered ever so sarcastically.

"YOU OWE ME SO BAD YOU LITTLE BASTARD!! I WANT MY BOOK BACK AND MY SANITY AND A BODYGUARD TO GET ME AWAY FROM THAT STUPID GREEN BEAST!!"

The stupid guy just looked at me as I hurriedly shoved the car into drive and sped out onto the street.

"Where are you going Sakura?"

"You're buying me ice cream, Uchiha Sasuke."

**A/N: **Yah. I know they are very OOC, but this is AU. I'm exploring the other side of their personalities. I hope. Reviews are lovely. This is my first fanfic so please don't eat my head. I don't know what to put here except for hurried apologies because this is short. Only because I have 11 minutes of battery left on my laptop. I'll update soon...hopefully.


	2. Prank 2 & Uncompleted Thoughts

_Disclaimer: Characters equals not mine_

_Lists_

**Chapter 2: **Prank #2

I've known Sasuke since we were wee tikes. His family lived in the wealthier side of the neighborhood. The side with fences, padlocks, gates, and perfectly manicured lawns.

My family lived on the other side of the neighborhood. The side with fake brick, half-fences, and rusty mailboxes. The distinguished and the unkown. Ha.

The only common ground our two neighborhoods had was a shared communal pool. True, the rich folk had their own pools right outside in their own backyards, but us little people took pleasure in soaking in the rays at the communal pool. The rich people were taxed quite a bit for the building of the pool and blah blah blah.

Sasuke and I carpool to our schools. I go to the regular public high school, whilst Sasuke goes to the world renowned Leaf Academy School for the Gifted and the rich snobby bastards.

All the kids who go to LA drive THE BEST cars, and have the BEST clothes. In fact, if your car is not shiny and branded, you are considered an outcast. Popularity at that school is based on looks, apparently you CAN buy beauty, and money. Sadly, Sasuke has both and fangirls are all over him like a bunch of lunatic squirrels.

I can proudly say that I pay no tuition in order to go the public school. Go me! My parents are not poor, we are actually quite rich if I may say so, but they just believe in a proper upbringing and not spoiling their child. Which I totally agree with. I wouldn't want to turn out like one of those Leaf Academy snobs.

Sasuke and I have a complicated relationship, to say the least. Sometimes he acts as if I'm the spawn of Satan and other times he pushes me into pools as if we are the best of friends.

I suppose it is just do to the fact that he has a version of male PMS due to the extra amount of estrogen in his pituitary gland. I mean, how else could he have ended up so pretty. I pointed this out to him when I was over at his house (mansion) and he just ignored me.

But now the question is, 'Why do Sasuke and I carpool and hang out together when we live in such different worlds?' It's quite simple. My father and his father were, and still are, BFF's.

They went to the same schools together when they were children, and they were each others best man(s). I think when I was born, they were expecting me and Sasuke to marry each other. According to my mom, I blatantly rejected him when we first met. How ironic considering the way things are now…

--

--

_Riiiiiinnnngggg_

The phone was ringing. My foggy mind just managed to register that much before I fell back into a deep slumber.

_RIIIIINNNGGGGGG!!_

Ugh! The phone was yelling at me. I glanced over at the clock, 6AM. I quickly answered the phone,

"Hellloo," I said groggily.

"This is the Konoha ANBU."

I immediately shot straight up. ANBU? The FBI were calling me?'

"Yes."

"Is this the residence of one Haruno Sakura?"

"This is she."

"We need to question you."

"I'm sorry sir, you must have the wrong person."

"We are ANBU ma'am, we are never wrong."

"Who's we?"

"Too many questions will get you in trouble."

I immediately shut up. Why in the world would the ANBU want to question me?

"I need you to follow my instructions. Go outside and across the street to the pool and sit there until one of our agents approaches you. That is all."

CLICK.

What the…

oh crap...

I'M NOT ALLOWED IN THE STUPID POOL ANYMORE!!

--

--

I sat there for two and a half hours, completely alert despite my sleepiness. At nine o'clock I started to drift back into sleep. Suddenly, I felt myself being hoisted up and thrown into the pool, in my pajamas. Realization dawned on me. I carefully hoisted myself up and out of the pool.

"Sasuke," I said in a low drawl, "-kun."

"Hn."

I had no energy to even scream at the jackass. I knew why he was doing this and it made me furious and angry to the bone.

"Get the hell away from me before I rip out your eyeballs," I growled in what I hoped was a menacing tone.

He smirked. He was obviously very pleased with his little prank that he pulled.

Then, as if dropping from the sky, Naruto came prancing up to us. This was going to be good. Naruto is my next door neighbor, and my best friend next to Sasuke. The problem is, Naruto and Sasuke absolutely despise each other.

As if on cue Naruto scowled as he saw my sopping wet form.

"What did the teme do to you Sakura-chan?"

Before I had a chance to say anything, the lousy jackass who pushed me into the pool interjected.

"It was a prank, dobe. You really are dumb."

A vein popped in Naruto's forehead.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME TEME?!"

Gah! I was furious, tired, and cold.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!!"

And I stalked home in my wet pajamas. Naruto's confused eyes and Sasuke's amused gaze burned into my back as I crossed the street.

"Hey teme."

"What dobe?"

"Do you even know HOW to tell a girl you like her?"

"I do not like her."

"You don't sound very convinced Uchiha."

"She's annoying."

"How?"

**Five** reasons why Sakura is annoying even though I'll never admit any of this to anyone (according to Sasuke)

1. Her hair is my least favorite color in the world (although on her it looks good)

2. She is friends with the dobe

3. She is way too moody and incomprehensible (one minute she loves me like no other and the other she shuns me)

4. She doesn't notice it when guys ogle her (perverts)

5. She let me go

--

--

**A/N**: This chapter is very rushed and the tenses are incorrect and there are bunches of mistakes. and it's short. SORRY!! Mmmm bit of a little thing going on with Sasuke and Sakura. What does it mean by 'she let me go'? Why did Sakura say she deserved the push-aroo? Ladeedada, unanswered questions XD. I'm leaving for vacation for 2 weeks and my laptop (my baby) isn't coming with me. Maybe I'll try to smuggle it. Anywho, sorry for the long author's note. See ya in 2 weeks!


End file.
